Things you should avoid spilling in your car

In lieu of Australia’s latest government leadership spill, with silver fox Malcolm Turnbull taking home the title of Prime Minister after deposing Tony Abbott, who now holds the record of shortest serving PM since Harold Holt (1966-1967), we decided to look at all things ‘spillage’.

In-car spillages are the worst. They’re up there with irritating bingles and inconvenient breakdowns. The stains, the smell, the growing mold. Yuck.

You take care of your pride and joy and then your kid spills their milkshake all over your freshly cleaned fabric seats. Or your best mate ‘accidentally’ (drunkenly) drops his beer bottle, which of course explodes… everywhere!

If old Tones Abbott thought trying to clear a reputation was bad, try attempting to rid rotten orange juice smell from a car.

Here are the 10 things we guarantee you want to avoid spilling in your car…

1. Mayo. That stuff stains worse than oil on a silk blouse. And trust us when we tell you this is one stain that won’t look so obvious next time you get in the car… think toothpaste or… ummm
2. Chewing gum. Remember that time you were little and the kid in the back of the classroom spat out their gum, which landed in your hair? Oh, that never happened to you? Well believe us, if it had happened the only way that little sucker was departing your scalp was with a pair of scissors. Same goes for gum on carpet.
3. Alcohol. You’ve put the bottles in the boot – they’ll be safe there, right? Then you turn a corner and SMASH! One bottle hits another bottle and that pre-mix vodka has saturated your boot’s carpet. Vodka, beer, and wine – it really doesn’t matter. That whiff is there to stay forever.
4. Glass. Speaking of shattered bottles… whether it’s from inside the car or your window has been shattered, those annoying little shards of glass will linger and hide everywhere.
5. Milk. Ever sniffed a carton of milk that’s three weeks passed its used-by date? Well, be prepared!
6. Orange juice. See above. WORST!
7. Cigarette butts. Do we really need to explain this one? Think Australian bars and pubs pre ‘no smoking’ laws.
8. Sweets. Particularly those of the melting kind. So unless you want ants, we advise those chocolate treats are kept outdoors.
9. Paint! You’ve loaded your car with half-used paint pots, but when you’ve reached your destination you realised one has exploded. Oh shit. Stains aside, the smell is almost lethal. Time to invest in new floor and seat covers. Sorry.
10. Bodily fluids. There’s a story we heard recently of someone who purchased a brand new car, and on their first family trip one of their children just couldn’t wait to reach the toilets. As for what happened next, you can use your imagination. Regardless of which end it comes out of, we guarantee it’s going to leave its stinky mark.

So, don’t take advice from the Liberals, avoid spills… in your car. #libspill.