Lexus perfects faking it

MAKING your little Lexus NX sound like an LFA, or a Ferrari, will be an option in the near future, with the company hoping to introduce a system that will allow you to activate the sultry squeals of Scarlett Johansson orgasming with your throttle instead.

Speaking at the launch of the NX in Canada this week, Kei-ichi Nishiyama, an assistant chief engineer in Lexus International’s exciting Z Division, promised that in the very near future “any sound can be downloaded” and played through the car’s new Automatic Sound Control.

ASC, which comes only in F Sport models of NX, a sharp-looking mid-size SUV, currently lets you adjust the level of the engine noise in the car.

The system was developed by sound engineers at Yamaha and is an entirely generated noise, but it is realistically in synch with your throttle inputs because it gets its data direct from the engine-control software.

While other similar systems tend to sound as realistic as someone making brrrm brrrm noises through pursed lips, the Lexus one actually sounds and feels real, although not particularly exciting. It also needs a volume switch that goes up to 11.

Because the noise is just bits of data, however, it can theoretically be replaced with anything, a possibility that gets Nishiyama-san very excited.

“You should be able to use your own sounds, download sounds, record them on your phone, and uploading through USB input should be possible,” he says. “I want to do that in this model life.”

So taking a sound grab of Johansson having what she’s having in the excellent Spike Jonze film Her and using it as your throttle sound is plausible, if inadvisable.