OPINION: That time, too recently, I locked the keys in the car

Yesterday I managed to do something I no longer thought was possible: I locked the keys in a car.

With a kiddo in one arm and a bag in the other, I’d thrown the bag on the front seat before moving to the back to buckle in the youngster.

Once there, though, I found the door was locked. “Huh,” I thought. “No worries, I’ll just grab the key…” only to realise two seconds later it was inside the bag on the front seat.

A quick circuit of the car confirmed every door was locked. Even the boot wouldn’t open. I was genuinely perplexed; don’t modern cars have sensors so this can’t happen? The car was a brand new mid-size family SUV with keyless entry, which is how I’d managed to open the door without using the key in the first place, yet somehow I’d managed to completely confuse it.

Still, it was a pretty minor inconvenience, all things considered. Luckily I hadn’t locked the kiddo in the car, which meant my marriage was safe, but unluckily it was pouring rain, so we had a pretty wet and miserable hour while we waited for the RACV.

When help arrived, though, something truly astonishing happened. Had I been driving an older car I probably would have tried to break in myself. My old WB ute, for example, could easily be jimmied open. And I’d seen enough forgetful friends successfully use coat hangers to hook their door handles that I knew it was pretty straightforward. But this was a modern car. They’re much trickier to break into, right?

Foolishly I’d expected the RACV tech to use some kind of electronic decoder to pop the lock. Or at least some high-tech laser-cut master key like Angelina Jolie used in Gone in 60 Seconds. Turns out I’m pretty naive.

3

The tech’s tools consisted of a plastic wedge and a small air bag inflated by a hand pump.

He had the door ajar after a few seconds by driving the wedge into the rubber door seal, then he reached into his jacket to produce a long curved piece of metal. It was basically a coat hanger, only a touch thicker, and he used it to hook the door handle. A quick tug later and voila, the car was open.

The whole thing took less than two minutes. With the key safely back in my hand, the technician turned to leave but not before giving me a small smile. “Don’t worry, mate,” he quipped. “This happens all the time. This one was easy, though. Built like a tin can…”

I’ll freely admit I was shocked. You know that sense of disbelief when you first discovered pickles are just cucumbers in vinegar? Or that pineapples grow on the ground and not in trees. That was me on the drive home.

Perhaps because I’ve written about the numerous anti-theft devices and measures built into modern cars, which stretch from alarms to interior monitors and even sensors that can detect if the car is moved or tilted, I simply assumed they must be harder to break into than a bank vault.

3

Seeing one cracked open so easily, using tools that you can buy on eBay for $30, was a touch alarming.

Suddenly I was questioning the times I’d left valuables inside overnight and thought they’d be okay because I’d covered them or hidden them under the boot floor.

Some quick Googling did nothing to put my mind at ease either. Last year a car was stolen in Australia every nine minutes. All up, 55,427 cars were nicked in 2021 and there were 134,918 reported instances of theft from break-ins. The good news is the rate of car thefts has been trending down since a peak of 138,500 in 2001, which is the same time that immobilisers were mandated on all new cars.

A consequence of that? Now half of all cars are stolen by people slipping into your house and boosting the keys, which are usually kept conveniently by the front door.

My takeaway? Cars aren’t as impregnable as you might think so do your best not to leave valuables inside, especially if they can be seen through the window.

And instead of throwing your key on a hook or in a dish near your front door, get into the habit of putting them in a drawer or in a bag. Oh, and if you’re tempted by a $30 wedge/hand pump kit from eBay, don’t carry it with you. The police won’t like that.