2023 Tesla Model S Plaid review

It’s the car that started it all for Tesla… the Model S was Tesla's very first volume production model, and even after ten years, the full-size sedan is still going strong.

Shaped by Franz von Holzhausen (following earlier work by Henrik Fisker), the sleek low-slung liftback has aged remarkably well. The once-futuristic interior with its large iPad-style centre monitor is actually more user-friendly now than the busy, over-stimulated animated cockpits found elsewhere.

While its full self-driving capability system remains a bone of contention, there is no denying Tesla's software leadership and its multifaceted advantages in the powertrain department. The constantly growing Supercharger network, too, remains an important asset.

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The rear compartment of the Model S is sufficiently roomy, but it could use more space in the back and a cushier, fully adjustable rear bench.

Hassle-free purchasing, instant delivery and strong resale values are further plus points, but the fit and finish leave a lot to be desired, personalisation - even basics like colour and trim – is an alien term to the Californian pragmatists, and the fact that the ‘bad boy’ image of Elon Musk looms large behind his products does not appeal to everybody, either.

And even though the Model S is sadly no longer available to right-hand-drive markets, the chance to grab the keys… err, card to the brand’s boldest performer was too tempting to pass up. (Even if it came too soon to line up some bespoke photography...)

The rear compartment of the Model S is sufficiently roomy, but it could use more space in the back and a cushier, fully adjustable rear bench. Although the revised, less stark interior adds a touch of wood and brightwork here and there, almost doubles the hide-trimmed acreage over the Model 3 and introduces a more convenient landscape-format touchscreen, the ambience barely exceeds Business Class of a budget airline.

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This could be excused because the Plaid's main mission in life is not to be shiny boulevard clickbait, but the ultimate electric driving machine.

With the battery at 88 percent, a nearly empty autobahn beckoning and the morning sun busy licking the damp tarmac dry, our barely run-in test car - which carries a remarkably competitive US$108,490/A$170,600 price tag - is humming in anticipation...

Lewis Hamilton and Fernando Alonso know the feeling… and now every Tom, Dick and Jane can also accelerate from zero to 100km/h in a claimed 2.1 seconds.

The blue wonder pictured here still ran on 19-inch winter-spec tyres, but that didn't stop it from performing like a bat out of hell.

If buyers fork out up to A$32,000 extra, Tesla will deploy the go-faster Track Pack, complete with a 321km/h Vmax chip, 20in Goodyear Eagle F1 Supercar 3R semi-slicks and must-have single-piece brake calipers straddling massive carbon-ceramic rotors.

The blue wonder pictured here still ran on 19-inch winter-spec tyres, but that didn't stop it from performing like a bat out of hell.

Flooring the throttle from a standing start feels as if some physical superpower is tearing the tarmac beneath us backwards with a vengeance, while at the same time devouring the horizon like a zoom lens gone wild.

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Let's go through the motions bit by bit. For a start, there are various attack modes to choose from, like Launch Control, Drag aka Cheetah, Drift, Plaid, Sport, Chill and combinations thereof.

Once you have made your selection, the ECU will automatically select the appropriate battery conditioning, regenerative braking, torque vectoring, side-to-side rear torque split, stability control, damper calibration and ride height. Each programme is accompanied by its own graphics and a bespoke soundtrack, too, so brace yourself for a ‘Marvel meets F1’ experience in Dolby Atmos quality.

But beware - the brute force which is just a stab on the throttle away can come as a shock to one's brain and physique. The test car peaked at an indicated 267km/h, and although the winter tyres were not of the ultra-high-performance kind, they helped to cushion the ride and soften the breakaway edges.

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Energy consumption? At a WLTP-approved 18.7kWh/100km, the Plaid is actually more efficient than even the humblest Porsche Taycan.

But as soon as you give her stick, the energy depletion soars way beyond 50kWh/100km - which is where the bar graph conveniently ends.

The Plaid is easily the best equipped Model S, and our specimen was better made than most previously tried Teslas. Having said that, the perceived quality is still more pret-à-porter than haute couture.

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The now-optional yoke handlebars are no match for a proper steering-wheel, either, because displacing your hands while winding on lock can mean losing grip altogether which is a) potentially unsafe and b) embarrassing.

In contrast, the fingertip controls become second nature within an hour or two, and even the vertical touchslider which selects the direction of travel is not such a bad idea after all - except when you panic and there is suddenly no more gear lever to grab.

The XXL touchscreen is a little harder to reach that its upright predecessor but easier to use, the improved menu is mostly self-explanatory, and voice control works really well.

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On a normal working day, the Model S Plaid is a cool tool, a stealth Trojan horse with the dynamic talents of a cruise missile

The two-stage energy regeneration is of the pushy-intrusive kind, but then who cares when you're at the helm of a seemingly humble saloon which just out-accelerated a Bugatti Chiron from 0-160km/h? Not to mention that totally unreal 4.65-second jolt forward from 100km/h to 200km/h.

On the down side, the Model S Plaid still misses out on essentials like matrix headlights, adaptive traffic sign recognition, parking sensors and front camera, stalk-activated wipers (rather than that flimsy micro-buttons), head-up display, cruise control beyond 145km/h and massage seats.

On a normal working day, the Model S Plaid is a cool tool, a stealth Trojan horse with the dynamic talents of a cruise missile haunted by serious software dropouts.

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But flip the metaphorical switch, and the Plaid is reduced to its truly insane essence which really begs for its own special driving licence.

With a raw 750kW and a highly physical 1424Nm on tap, and with the drivetrain locked in full aggro mode, one needs a very long, straight stretch of smooth, dry road, cojones the size of watermelons, radar eyes to scan the surface ahead for irregularities and a hardwired neuro-link between your brain and the escape button.

Riding this careening cannonball can be huge fun… but pull out all the stops and you are permanently living on a ragged edge, travelling so much faster than almost anything else on the road, in an understated (and by no means over-engineered) piece of kit that looks like an overgrown Model 3.

When it comes to shades of brutal go and outright velocity, underdog appeal and acceleration for money, though, nothing else comes close to the colour Plaid.