MOTOR’s Performance Car of the Year 2022: the road test

“Hmm, I don’t think that bump is quite right.” I’m riding shotgun with guest judge Bernie Quinn in the Hyundai i30 Sedan N (still a dumb naming convention). We are on a recce to finalise the loop judges will use to assess the SCOTY field in forthcoming road testing.

Discussion ebbs and flows, the two of us sitting in silent anticipation while Bernie runs the Hyundai’s Michelin Pilot Sport 4S tyres over a mid-corner corrugation before returning to a flurry of discussion and debate. To the surprise of many, discussing the finer aspects of potholes is a not-infrequent part of the gig at MOTOR, and for PCOTY our selection process must be exhaustive.

Bernie and I are on the hunt for something ultra-specific. We need a road that is relatively remote so we don’t upset any nearby residents by driving up and down it all day. There needs to be a turnaround point where six vehicles can get off the road completely. That point needs to be a reasonable distance from the main staging area where all 10 cars will be kept, along with a member of the video team.

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Balancing the distance is difficult. Too short and the judges won’t be able to get a proper assessment from the cars. Too long and we won’t be able to get through all the cars in time. Oh, and did we mention that the final road needs a solid mix of corner radiuses and cambers, along with that Goldilocks level of bumps and surface changes that’s monopolising discussion in the Hyundai.

We’re in the right place to try and find something that can tick all of these sometimes contradictory boxes with testing for PCOTY 2022 taking place in Victoria’s verdant Gippsland region. Traditionally the stomping ground of our friends across the aisle at Wheels for their Car Of The Year testing, MOTOR has conducted a high-horsepower coup in temporarily claiming the route as our own while the other crew conducts their testing elsewhere this year.

To coincide with the dual awards, road testing for PCOTY will take place over two days, on different roads for each respective category. A humble hatch and raucous track-ready supercar sit at opposite ends of the performance spectrum, so it’s only appropriate that we test them on roads best suited to their typical usage and abilities.

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Our Sports Car of the Year loop is found on the outskirts of Kongwak, a sleepy town of just 197 people at the last census. It’s a small sample size, but every local we encounter throughout the day is happy to see us, waving cheerily as we pass on the road or walking up with intrigue to chat at our staging area. Talking from experience, not every sleepy town is happy to have a single buzzing sports cars spending the day driving back-and-forth on a nearby road, let alone 10.

Trent is the first person in the MX-5, and he immediately lowers the roof to get some extra Vitamin D. Andy is into the Hiroshima drop-top next. Here’s a fun fact about our fearless leader: he absolutely hates convertibles. Enright only makes it 50 metres up the road before reaching over his shoulder to put the roof back up, clattering a camera the video team had set in-between the seats in the process.

I set off after him in the Hyundai i30 Sedan N after allowing for our 10-second gap between each car. Despite my best efforts I can’t quite get onto his bumper by the turnaround point, and I arrive to Andy’s mile-wide grin. I’m similarly beaming ear-to-ear thanks to the frankly outrageous acoustic performance coming from the sports sedan’s exhaust. It’s only outclassed here by the Mustang, which gives away our location from the first run. Thankfully, no one pays us much mind.

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Quickly the judges discover that the SCOTY field is breaking into three distinct groups. We have a handful of cars that are pooling naturally at the bottom of the rankings, but the mid-field is absolutely stacked and more than a few of us end the day scratching our heads about how we’ll decide on a final order.

At the top end of town early event favourites are beginning to form a breakaway group. Hyundai’s N pairing and the Ford Focus ST are both impressing in their no-fuss on-road ability, reminding everyone that you don’t need bottomless pockets to have buckets of fun nowadays. Defending rear-wheel drive’s honour against the front-drivers is the Subaru BRZ.

At the end of the route heading back into Kongwak there is a downhill, heavily cambered series of S-bends. On this snaking bitumen the BRZ dances beautifully, judges regaling each other with stories of wondrous chassis balance at the end of each run.

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While the GR Yaris Rallye’s mechanical ingredients make up for the ills of the regular GR last year, the seating position is causing significant consternation among judges who are having to button out of left-handed corners due to the cramped and hamstrung visibility caused by the raised seating position, low rear-vision mirror placement and creeping height of the central infotainment screen.

Utility is more than just how readily the performance abilities can be accessed. The Rallye catches my ire in particular. “I can’t get over the fact that I don’t enjoy driving that car on the road because of the seating position,” I note as we reflect on how the cars performed. “It’s fine as long as you don’t turn left,” winks Luffy.

And so the discussion continues, each judge putting forth their findings and thoughts, while the others add their inputs and bounce off each other. That chat could, and does, continue for hours as we unpack every facet of every car in detail, six minds working together, each noticing quirks and assessing the contenders independently as individual car fanatics.

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It takes almost all day for all 10 cars to be put through their paces, and we have a pre-dawn start the next morning. It’d be a great time to head to the motel early for some well-earned sleep, but photography demands require all the cars assembled for a sunset group shot that predictably runs late. You learn quickly here that giving a photographer the hurry-up is as futile as trying to nail jelly to a ceiling.

Despite the judges sneaking out of our rooms as quietly as possible to not disturb the rest of the team at the start of the next day, the Lamborghini’s high-revving cold start undoes all our attempted subterfuge. Absconding to the only open bakery in town we meet a few local tradies. One can’t seem to peel his eyes off us, staring in mute confusion. It’s only as we depart do we hear him comment to his companion “That bloke looked a lot like Warren Luff!” Eerily like him, mate.

Stepping up to the PCOTY field, where the least powerful contender is knocking on 400 horsepower, with the electric Taycan capable of turning the treads with 750hp, space and flow is top of the priority list for today’s road and we find it just north of Glen Alvie.

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Aside from their outright speed capabilities, one of the biggest problems with the PCOTY field is noise. Put the visual extravagance to the side for a moment – two 4.0-litre flat-sixes, a 5.2-litre V10, a pair of V8s in supercharged and atmo guise, and two twin-turbo straight-six engines make quite the racket.

For the PCOTY field, a member of the support team is brought in to drive one of the more subdued SCOTY contenders ahead of the judges, conveying radio messages back about on-road hazards, traffic, and errant fauna. Getting six people through eight cars isn’t the work of a moment, and thankfully our route is remote enough that we avoid the ire of either local farmers or the boys in blue.

Tensions rise late in the piece when a brief squall of rain passes over, suddenly reducing the available grip on hand. I’m made acutely aware of the limitations of the Corvette’s front-end grip, while Bernie returns to the staging point abuzz as he steps out of the Taycan. “If you just grab it by the scruff of the neck and thrash the thing, it’s bloody brilliant!” he enthuses with the kind of grin usually reserved for a teenager who just discovered how to build a potato cannon.

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The two BMW-based sedans quickly differentiate themselves, with the Alpina’s subdued nature standing in stark contrast to the M3’s pointed aggression. Each judge cycles through the trio of Porsches back-to-back-to-back. The three-car assault is a show of force from Stuttgart, and each is a reminder of why Porsche is the most successful manufacturer in PCOTY history.

The sheer competence of the Germans pales to the theatre of the only Italian in the whole field – the Lamborghini Huracán. Dipped in a shade of paint more resembling a rave-prone sentient tennis ball, drama follows it everywhere. As the day progresses, each judge tries and fails to get in and out of its cabin gracefully.

Nevertheless, we all need a moment to decompress after the experience, with the driving experience akin to having a high-voltage cable shoved directly into your spine. In contrast the Jag seems altogether stately and sensible. Surprising considering its 331kW supercharged V8, rear-drive ingredients. Its windows are permanently lowered throughout the day, even in the rain, as we all let its industrial racket wash over us.

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If you isolated each of these eight PCOTY contenders and drove them on the same road, I can guarantee you’d have a brilliant time. Combine them together in one climactic convoy on repeat, and you’ll never forget it. There are those who complain that performance cars are no fun anymore – they are too powerful to be useable. Here’s proof that particular opinion misses the mark.

At the end of the road loops some early front-runners are beginning to form, while it becomes abundantly clear that both the PCOTY and SCOTY fields are absolutely stacked with vehicles that would leave any customer beaming with pride at their purchase. Even the battle for the wooden spoon prompts fervent discussion between the judges as we thrash out which car has failed to meet its brief by the biggest margin.

Final adjudication must wait though, as the Phillip Island Grand Prix Circuit beckons for both judges and contenders alike. Hey Luffy, how many left-handers are there on the track again?

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The finer details of road selection

The PCOTY loop: 12.2km, +271m ASL

For the quicker – and lower slung – cars in the convoy we chose a more open, flowing route with a marginally better grade of bitumen.

This route climbs consistently from Glen Alvie, with a technical middle section before ending with well-sighted sweepers punctuated by the odd crest. It’s a great test of ride refinement, drivetrain flexibility, driver assist systems, steering fidelity and general ease of use.

The SCOTY loop: 10.6km, +71m ASL

The SCOTY loop climbs sharply out of Kongwak straight into a series of rapid left-right bends. From there the road opens and rolls across a plateau before diving into river drainages and past farms.

The road surface is scarred, with frequent bumps and a couple of wicked compressions that would splinter the chins of our PCOTY contenders. Mud and grit dragged onto the road by farmers only adds to the challenge. It’s a short but very sharp test.

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