Living with the 2022 Mercedes-AMG E53

• Introduction: Dear Neighbour
• Month Two: Inner Pursuit

Introduction: Dear Neighbour

Kirby finds out 'his' E53 Coupe has been keeping secrets

My neighbour Margaret is a lovely lady. She’s retired and lives alone, spending her days tending to our complex’s communal gardens. Margaret also keeps a very close eye on the frequently rotating parade of vehicles that I bring home from work.

Whenever I bump into Margaret I am blessed with a rundown of her verdicts on my recent wheels. Lamborghini Urus: too green. Toyota GR Yaris Rallye: looks like great fun. Jaguar I-Pace: very futuristic. It’s always intriguing to hear what Margaret has to say about a car. She doesn’t care about brand heritage or power outputs, it’s an assessment made without bias.

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So it came to pass that I became the temporary custodian of this Mercedes-AMG E53 Coupe. What the local PR team didn’t know in approving the long-term loan, is that they’d secure themselves a hardcore fan. The reaction from Margaret was almost instant the moment I slipped up the driveway, with the kind of cooing noises I would assume are traditionally reserved for her grandchildren.

In Margaret’s eyes, the E53 retained the same sublime cool as big American coupes from the ’50s. It’s not hard to follow her line of thinking, with the flowing, almost creaseless, exterior bodywork and the big pillarless windows. In these warmer months I’ve taken to having every aperture open for the full boulevardier experience – who says you need a drop-top for cool summer cruising?

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Yet, for a near-enough $200,000 large coupe, and seemingly in spite of the three-letter badge on the boot, the E53 is surprisingly low-key in its personality. In its comfort settings, it is the kind of vehicle that I’d happily put someone of Margaret’s vintage behind the wheel of without worrying she was going to end the journey travelling backwards through one of her beautifully manicured hedges.

There’s nothing as uncouth as a launch control system, but it’ll still crack 100km/h from a standstill in a claimed 4.4 seconds. The big coupe uses a combination of a 3.0-litre straight-six, 250Nm e-motor, turbocharger AND an 48-volt electric compressor to send 320kW and 520Nm to all four wheels via a nine-speed automatic transmission.

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Despite the impressive power, and multifaceted componentry, propulsion is delivered with velvet-wrapped subtlety. Instead of the electric power being added like a kick in the back, it’s mixed in naturally, hiding in plain view. This is one of the E53 Coupe’s great strengths. It dispenses with any pre-conceived notions of AMG brutality, and is seemingly instead a refined and pleasant cruiser.

On one drive home I began to fiddle with the coupe’s adaptive exhaust, and was left reeling by the auditory step change.

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In an era of shouty AMG V8s the E53’s soft vocal tones in Normal mode had been rather refreshing. Well, the charade ended once Sport+ was selected. I was transported into the middle of a bullring, the adaptive exhaust now cracking its whip behind my head with each change of ratio, and burbling on the overrun. The sudden personality reveal was akin to finding out tottering ol’ Margaret was also a black belt in Krav Maga.

With a simple flick of a switch, the relaxing companion for my commute morphed into a barking attack dog.

A frenetic schedule means no kill command has been issued to the E53 yet, but I’m looking forward to doing so soon. I might just invite Margaret along for the ride. – CK

Things we love:

• Silky smooth power
• Timeless design
• Adaptive exhaust

Things we rue:

• Doors are very long
• Like, really long
• Haptic buttons

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Month Two: Inner Pursuit

Is a stretch of the Hume Highway the missing link?

We’re all just a bit nerdy here at MOTOR. It’s a somewhat unspoken prerequisite to join the team. But even the following random comment that came out of my mouth took Kirby a little by surprise.

“There’s a section of the Hume Highway I’ve never driven, but I’ve always wanted to”.

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I’m not sure, but for a moment I think he questioned whether or not giving me the key to ‘his’ Mercedes-AMG E53 Coupe long termer for my Melbourne to Canberra round trip was a good idea or not.

Most of you living in the eastern states would know that while the Hume is broadly adequate as a means of journeying between our two biggest state capitals, it’d never make anyone’s list of must-drive roads. Not me though.

There’s a pseudo middle ground, a 129km section of highway between Table Top and Wagga Hill, I’ve always missed given I grew up in Wagga. If you haven’t fallen asleep yet, fire up Google maps to see what I’m talking about. I told you we’re all a bit geeky here.

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In terms of a car fit for a solo expedition, the big E53 ticks numerous boxes. The 425-litre boot swallows my bags with room to spare, the cabin is airy and spacious with a vast range of seating adjustment, all the tactile materials are agreeably high end and it’s packing enough tech/sound system grunt to keep anyone entertained. The quality of the Burmester audio is of particular note as it does a great job of drowning out the surprising road noise on the varied Hume surfaces.

It has drama, too, with a lack of B-pillar and a large panoramic sunroof creating a convertible-style experience – just without as much wind buffeting. The mood lighting, with a vast spectrum of colours to choose from, the turbine-look fan controls and the red stitching add aesthetic bling.

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At night it feels like you’re ensconced in a swanky inner-city cocktail bar that just happens to have plush seating. The new steering wheel is fat-rimmed, which isn’t to everyone’s style, nor are the touch-sensitive buttons for various controls. Time to familiarise yourself with them, just like the central trackpad, is key.

One very cool feature that now comes as standard is the virtual image windscreen projection. In layman’s terms this means that direction arrows appear in the head-up display while the central 12.3-inch infotainment screen reveals real-time street signs, turn directions and house numbers. It works brilliantly.

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However, the downside is that you have to be using the satellite navigation provided by Mercedes via the MBUX system. It doesn’t work when connected to Apple/Google maps via CarPlay or Android Auto – both of which aren’t wireless and require a USB-C connection.

On the long stretches of tarmac the Merc chews up the kays with aplomb.

Despite running 20-inch AMG rims and low-profile Yokohama/Advan tyres, the ride quality is appreciably supple at speed. Where the air suspension struggles to iron out all the lumps and bumps is over sharp, low-speed potholes. They’re both felt and heard in the cabin. However, on this trip the ride quality is acceptable, working with the comfortable cabin to create an overall cosseting environment. The trade-off is that when the road isn’t dead straight, the experience is slightly less engaging than you expect given the AMG badge.

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Okay, while my 1350km jaunt to discover new territory is hardly the stuff of Burke and Wills, I ticked off a uniquely nerdy aspiration and learnt a lot about the E53 Coupe.

Ironically, it seems Mercedes-AMG is on an exploratory mission, too. It seems to be trying to find the middle ground between being a comfortable cruiser like an E-Class Coupe while fulfilling an expectation of all-out AMG performance.

For me, the jury’s still out on whether there’s enough pure Affalterbach in the genome.

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In most senses, Mercedes-AMG has created a pleasing, premium and discerningly rapid thing. Connoisseurs of luxury, car enthusiasts and tech geeks alike will be intrigued by the E53 for different reasons.

It’s hard not to recommend in this segment and I’m sure those who buy it will find the two-door thoroughly enjoyable to live with. It doesn’t really do anything wrong. Yet, it doesn’t make me love it. And for a car costing $172,252 it ought to. Back to you, Kirby. – TG

Things we love:

• Kilometre cruncher
• Premium cabin
• Cool tech

Things we rue:

• Confused intent
• Low-speed ride
• 'Want' factor

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